Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate

     Random: Title is a Dante Alighieri quote. I just found that yesterday, and I thought it was awesome, so now I'm going to try and connect that to this post for Valentines day.

     So it's Valentines, and like every holiday of the year, I'm compelled to write about because of some random epiphany. But I'm kind of mentally blocked right now, so I can't really think of anything original to say... So I'm just gonna talk about the past few days.

     Midterms just ended. My grades are holding up pretty OK, so I guess I'll be staying in the course for a while. My sister might teach somewhere in Manila, and my niece might study there too, and I might transfer colleges if I wanted to, but if I did, everything I built here would kinda be a waste, right? Last year, I really wanted to transfer out of DLSU-D, since all of my friend are in Manila, but now that I'm actually given a chance to do it, I don't want to. I predicted that I'd be reluctant to leave, because no matter how distant you act, you'll always form bonds. Humans are social beings, and forming friends and acquaintances is normal, unless you really, really, really don't like new people, regardless, human connection is unconsciously imperative. With that said, I connected. I wouldn't say unwillingly, because I really wanted to build some walls around me on the start of college, but some people manage to tear them down, and for that I'm grateful, yet it's frustrating at the same time. Once you start a friendship, you can't really abruptly end it, because, social norms. All you can do is wait until your friendship falls out, or man up and actually break a friendship off. The former is the one usually taken.
   
     I'm not saying I want to break it off, I'm saying that even if I wanted to, I can't. I don't have it in me to do such a thing. Essentially, I'm stuck here until I graduate. Point of no return, but hey it isn't that bad. Change is bound to happen sooner or later. Might as well accept it anyways. "Life goes on".

     Back to the topic of Valentines: I don't have one. Not much of a complaint, more of an acceptance of the fact. It's been 18 years, so why the hell be sad over something that doesn't really change? Regardless, I've remembered something I believed in when I was about 6. I saw an old woman with a wedding ring and had the most naive epiphany in the world, wherein anyone would be bound to marry someone else, no matter who, where, when, or why, and then whenever I see someone older than me without a ring, then I always assume that sometime in the future, that person will eventually marry. I loved that little premise. It was like knowing something no one else knows until it happens to them. Obviously, the assumption was wrong, but wouldn't it be nice if it wasn't? Getting married isn't really a necessity, but it isn't as bad as at looks like, despite all the divorce and the cheating usually seen in reality. Heck, it's not even about the marriage, it's just about that unspoken union between two people. Those little instances of non-verbal affection, when you just stare at someone's eyes deeply, like you were acknowledging the other as a whole. Where nothing physical even matters. You just... connect. It's like instinct, and with a snap, you're in love. Abandon all hope to get out of THAT, cause you won't be, not for a while at least.

     Happy Valentines / Single Awareness Day! Peace.