A Midsummer Night's Chatlog

   What a twist of fate! Just 3 hours ago, and up until this very moment, my reality decided to be spontaneous about things, and sh*t happened!

   First off, after two months of ignoring each other, a friend from school suddenly popped up. I'm not going to add further detail to that. The fact remains that, what I thought was over, wasn't. I'm just amazed at this person, suddenly re-evaluating herself and taking initiative to speak. I was proud, and happy, and confused. I really loved her, yet right after my first year of college had ended, I gave up on her, and after a few weeks into April, I finally let go of everything that was about her. 3 hours ago, she comes back. It was a slap in the face, and a hug at the same time, but I don't know which one fits the feeling as well as the other. Despite that, I was't speechless. We talked, laughed, caught up. Like the argument and fighting never happened. Like we just went back to a checkpoint we were comfortable with. Though I feel uncomfortable, and weirded out, I'm curious on how far we can take this, and how it ends up. Hopefully it ends on a sweet note, or hopefully it doesn't.

   Secondly, tfw your crush talks to you...ish. Around 30 minutes ago, a girl I didn't expect to be talking to me, TALKED to me... kind of. Tweeting doesn't count as talking, BUT IT'S SOMETHING! Though I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be. Maybe I just forgot she was a crush. Maybe I forced myself to not mind someone who might never even meet me. But hey, we sort-of talked. It's pretty nice, though it's not the point. I thought of maybe this conversation could be a milestone to something bigger. I'm not sure when, how, why, who, where, or what, but it's bigger than just tweet-talking on Twitter. I have high hopes, and no expectations.

   This post is pretty short, and I don't know if I SHOULD post this, because the content feels meaningless, but this night was wild from 9 to 1AM. I'm confused as to what to feel, but I'm choosing to feel happy, despite the balance in the doubts and the joy of everything that happened, and what those things may imply in the future. I chose not to worry. Tomorrow is another day... or rather today is.

Peace~

Happy Late Mother's Day

   Pretty late for a Mother's Day post, because I thought of doing this right after the day itself. The essence was more or less "What did I get from my mom?" and I kept thinking about that question since I didn't have anything to give to my mom that day, and I kind of want to change the atmosphere of the blog. Nonetheless, I came up with something, and here goes.

   Some things I probably got from my mom!

   Caring: I'm not sure whether or not to use empathy or sympathy, but I used this word because it kind of fit. My mom would show that she cares about me through anger. Yep. I know what I'm doing is mostly in the wrong, and I do that very often, so my mom probably got tired of using the nice form of caring and uses anger instead. It's not a bad thing considering that I'm really stubborn (thanks dad). I guess I figured it out this summer when I looked back on my friends within my lifetime. I tend to notice the little things about my friends and I usually end up with the short straw in all kinds of relationships, so... yeah, that's something.
   Intelligence: I don't want to brag, but oh wait, I do. I have to thank my mom for this because even if most of the time she doesn't show it, she's pretty smart. Not much to go on about this, but hey, it's something. I guess when looks fail, brains will do the talking. Besides, you can't rely on good looks for success all the time.
   Sensitivity: I guess this is similar to caring, but it sort of isn't. What I meant is having more EQ. You could call it over thinking or even over-worrying, but I guess that's what makes us special from any other living being. Acknowledging that I made a mistake and literally feeling bad about it is nice. It helps me learn sometimes. Sometimes.

   I love you mom. Happy Mother's Day!

 
 

Summer Stuff

   I forgot to post the things that happened on April 28, since that was the time I went on a road-trip with some of my friends, and March 3 & 4 hangouts were pretty cool, so I decided to make it into one big post.

   I had a whole plan for the hangouts. On the first hangout, I really didn't expect much out of any of the trips, and there wasn't a sched. We just went and played and talked and ate, and I enjoyed it. It was special since we rarely hangout because we're from different colleges, so it was an awesome day. No moment was as remarkable as the next. It was just fun at every second of it. I got to commute a little on the train stations in Manila. It was a nice change of pace. On that same road trip I had talked to a friend I commuted with, did a little catching up, and I was able to change my perspective on things. I acknowledged the stress that was gnawing at me and I began to be a little self-aware of the things I do all the time. I guess you never stop learning.

   On the following hangouts, I learned that some of my friends will be shifting to other courses, it sucked, but at this point, I had learned to accept that people come and go, and at the least, they were part of you somehow, in big and small ways. Things become easier when you just accept that things just HAPPENED, and you move on.There isn't much use clinging to the past, unless it's the last option you have, and the only time that it's going to be the only thing to look at, is when you're old, sitting at your chair, and your hair is mostly, if not all, white.

   The moral of the story isn't really in here, but in connecting this post, to the entirety of posts I made last year. I guess things may start out real shitty, but it really does get better. You just have to be patient, or you just need to give yourself a little break, or change your perspective on the whole situation, or even do something completely different. Don't allow yourself to get bored.