Week One

   The first week has passed, and if the word "OK" was a week, it would've been this week, even though I couldn't sleep on Sunday night, just because I was excited for Monday classes. Sure there are more people to meet, and new things to learn, but once you add everything up, it's still the same daily grind, just on a different schedule. I guess I require more stimulus for each passing day. Don't we all?

   From the moment that you were born up to your early childhood years, everything would be new, you wouldn't understand boredom, because there would be nothing to be bored about. As you enter your teenage years, you'd start to be more selective of the things that make you happy, or sad, or even the things that make you feel anything at all. That's the time when you'd start using phrases like "Best Day Ever!", and you'd understand what boredom is, and, if you're lucky, how to fight boredom.

   Once you hit the end of you teens, you either constantly find solutions to your ever-increasing boredom, or you live in boredom, unfazed by anything and everything, and slowly kill off your enthusiasm. I may have drawn the short end of the stick. I'm getting bored everyday, and to top it off, school just started, making everything much more mundane. It may be too early to give up on future moments, but the first week impression has been that strong. Hopefully something happens soon, and hopefully, this is just my expectations getting the best of me. On the bright side, there isn't much pressure on the subjects, or even school itself, sometimes there are small moments of fun, and I'm one step closer to graduating. I did ask for a new page in life, and hopefully this is just a boring introduction or recap on every start of a new chapter. Can't wait or the climax.

*Soda-bottle pop sound*

   Do you ever get that feeling of emptiness, the good kind? The kind of emptiness after finishing all your homework in a weekend afternoon, with nothing to worry about for tomorrow. The kind of emptiness you feel after working out really hard, sweating your ass off, and feel that it's all worth it at the very moment you finish. The kind of emptiness where you wake up in the middle of the summer too early, and smile and proceed to sleep again, because you have nothing to worry about. The kind of emptiness when you wake up beside your loved one, and everything just floats away, even for just a fleeting moment. That emptiness is amazing.

   Though those aren't the only scenarios. Let's say your stress can be summed up to a bottle of Coke. The amount of problems and tasks you have can be equivalent to how much you shake that bottle. Eventually, you'd see nothing but foam in that bottle. The more shaken up it is, the bigger the explosion. So imagine letting it all blow up after a good shaking. Regardless of the very awkward innuendo, the bottle would probably be somewhat empty, right? You wasted a coke, but it was a damn good soda-burst, and you get to drink of what's left. that little gulp of what's left is the refreshing aftermath of that stress-killing burst. It's enough to quench a thirst, and enough to not leave you wanting for more. Getting back on track, it's kinda what happened tonight; I finally opened the damn bottle. I have nothing to do left. In a good way. It's stupefying. Heck, I don't even know why I'm still typing. The adrenaline is still in,

   Though this feeling right now, I wouldn't say that I'm completely "done". I'm still stuck at that moment when you ask your mom if you can go to a friend's house, and then there's this split-second adrenaline rush in between you asking, and her replying with a yes or a no. That split-second of answering a question verbally and hoping you were right. That split-second of waiting right after throwing a ball into the basketball-ring. A split-second of uncertainty, excitement, and anxiety, driven by adrenaline and high hopes, waiting for an answer, an assurance of whether or not you were right or wrong, or even waiting for the ball to drop, score or not. Waiting for the next step to reveal itself, though the step doesn't matter at the moment, because at the moment, all that exists is the fact that you actually did something. You're just waiting for the results, and even that doesn't matter.

   You did something. You've seized the moment.

 

The Descending Action

   It's been more than a week since the last post, and tonight I'm stuck at doing nothing at 10 PM. I'm at a loss this early in the night. The continuous barrage of the series of events in the past few days has given me mixed feelings about... everything. It's that feeling you get when you're pushed out of your comfort zone, and you're slowly trying to form a comfort zone on the spot that you're currently in. It's not that hard, but it's emotionally and mentally tiring. 

   4 days after my last post, a friend that I had just reconnected has disconnected yet again, but this time, probably for good. She was a kind of person you'd only meet once in your life. She's the kind of person you'd think about right before you sleep at night, as if she has her own space in your mind, like an altar in your consciousness. She's the one you'd stay with over anyone else, at almost any given moment. She's the type of person that would come into you life and shake things up, and sometimes she stays, sometimes she leaves, but when she leaves, she leaves a terrible mess. She was the one I fell I fell in love with. Though I was prepared for the heartbreak, I didn't expect her to wreck my whole world. I know I'll be fine, but I'm just frustrated in knowing that she loved me too, but it was far too late to build anything else at this point. I tried to, but the only choice that I was shown was to move on. Though I burned my bridges, I still believe that if she was truly the one, she'd be back, one way or another, and if she's not, then too bad. 

   Aside from that, I'm just greatly exhausted from everything else, but in a good way. I went ice skating, swimming, and hanging out a lot... At least my summer won't end on such a shitty note, and at least the next school year would allow me to turn to the next page. 

   Time to move forward. Time to finish this section of the book.