The Reacharound

   So it's been awhile, and it's 16 days before Christmas. I'm still a little stressed and a little relieved. A little afraid and a little excited for whatever's ahead. A little bit of "give me time to prepare", and a little "bring it on". A meekness thirsting for adventure, and an excitement seeking repose. The future is full of possibilities, and that in itself is enough for a hybrid of emotions. Something like dreaded excitement, or whatever. Enough rambling for now, let's get to it.

   After an exhausting day at school, an epiphany hit me so hard, I forgot my handkerchief in the jeep (woops). I guess life is much more accurate than a roller coaster, than it is anything else, because aside from the ups and downs, and how it's all a "ride" for everyone, we also can't get off of it. So we just ride off into the same curves and loops. I'm not sure how long does it take to complete one "go" on our figurative roller coasters, but I do know that once you get bored the way things are, that's when you know you've been on the same track for who knows how many laps, but if you haven't gotten bored yet, maybe you're still just enjoying the ride without even trying. This is proven by the fact that the first try on the roller coaster, either literal and figurative, feels like it happened so fast right after the first lap.
   
   You sit on the real/mental roller coaster, and your heart is just pounding. You're buckled up to the seat, and you get ready for the ride. Your mind is filled with all of the possibilities, but it starts moving. Your mind draws blank as you start to go higher and higher, and then, when you least expect it, you go full speed.You were just bombarded with information and sights that just whizzed past you, and you're not exactly sure what you saw, but it was one hell of a ride. Your second lap, you're still kind of excited, yet you have more control over the flight and fight response of screaming your lungs out. You're able to glance at how high you get and how fast you go relative to the things around you. The sudden steep drop still seems enjoyable, but a little less than before. Every next lap is an increase in control of your senses, and a decrease in your anxiety and excitement. It's like being conditioned to adapt to the repeating circumstance, requiring you to spend less energy on a repeated task. That's your everyday. You will at some point get bored. You'll start to try to look at things at a different perspective just to see if you feel anything different along the same curve or loop, and luckily you will, but at some point, you won't. The same problems, or in this case the same drops, would just re-haunt you for another little scare, but you'll find another, similar solution to it, like you always did. We're all just looping every problem we have in a different form.

   In that perspective, life seems a little frivolous, because that would just insinuate that we're not getting past our original problems, and we're just delaying their return, but in a sense, we're also getting better at beating them back again, so maybe it isn't all pointless. Rediscovering how to enjoy the ride again may help, and you don't always have to look with your eyes to see. Maybe some parts of the rides can change later on, or even stay exactly the same if you want it to. In the end, we'll never know for sure, and perhaps it's meant to stay that way.

   Not even the universe would want to spoil a good surprise.