Sisyphus

   Hi. I'm just checking in for a sec. Then I'm out. Real busy nowadays, and this is possibly the only post I can make for the rest of the school year. Don't worry, I'm probably fine, and I'm (probably) not writing to vent out. I kind of miss this, but I guess there's the element of stress involved, but I'll get over it. We all do. Before I leave and prepare for an onslaught of events and deadlines and quizzes and activities, let me indulge in slapping you with my unused eloquent vocabulary.

  I've been learning to get back up on my feet real quick nowadays. After barely passing exams on the preliminaries, I can literally pep-talk myself into hopefully doing better next time. I guess I'm going to need this quirk for med school, because if pre-med is this frustrating, I cannot wait for what med-school has in store for me. FCKNG BRING IT ON MF'ER. But aside from that, I kind of miss writing. It leaves a nice aftertaste to your emotions after writing something out of any kind of emotion. Be it writing born out of rage, love, happiness, stress, boredom, random epiphanies, awesome quotable line that you can caption on instagram images, or just complete BS. Writing is great. It's like imparting a piece of you to the world. And I kind of regret that I forget tons of awesome lines to type and post, but I digress. If you've already googled the title, or know what it means, then let's go there. Yes, I'm going to talk about problems, but surprisingly, not mine. Well not just mine. Every one's problems. And I guess we all have a rock to roll up for all eternity, be it figuratively and hopefully not literally. It just manifests itself into different forms, but no we're not gonna go into what forms your metaphorical rock takes shape in your own life ('cause if you dig deep enough I've already, more than likely, talked about it), but we're gonna talk about the feeling you get when you see someone rolling up a shittier, bigger rock than yours.

  I don't focus on this topic that much, because, to be honest, when I do, I'll sound preachy, hypocritical, or just out-right pretentious. It's hope. And I hope I don't disappoint with this one (OH GOD).

  Let's go back to Sisyphus. In a way we're all cursed with rolling our stones only to find that the next one we roll up is the exact same thing. Just like how college algebra can suddenly go to differential calculus, your basic problems could become even more complex as you go through it. Sometimes you find a solution, which at the time seems like a better way to cope up with the hardships, but in the long run, you're just gonna encounter another set of problems which may or may not be harder to deal with, but hey, it's still a problem. We all know you can't get rid of the weight you carry on your shoulders, but if it got any lighter at some point, then you have to consider two things: You either got stronger than you were, or you've somehow managed to unload some of the problems at the expense of making it harder for someone else. Check yourself.
 
   Regardless of what it might be, remember that you're not alone. We're all suffering. With that in mind, it gets harder to honestly complain about your own problems, at least for me, because the only problems you're complaining about are yours. But hey I complain a lot about mine, but I try to just whine a lot about it to forget about more quickly, but anyways. The only rock you're pushing up a hill is your own, so you're not entitled to degrade anyone's suffering or make your own suffering a big deal. So basically mind your own business and don't be a cunt. We all have our demons, so don't criticize someone just because yours are harder to conquer or if they fail to beat theirs. We could all be little pieces of sht sometimes, but don't be that kind of sht. We may all be bad, but we try not to be the worst.

  That was all depressing, but hey, this is the preachy part. Now, how about the other way around? Let's say you're one of the few who managed to preserve your speck of hope for humanity, and tried to help out someone in a tighter spot. And the goodness inside you compels you to help. There's nothing wrong about that. And it's perfectly fine. We're a social species. Progress is built on cooperation. But don't lose yourself in others. I'm not advocating selfishness, but I'm reminding you that self-preservation is important. You can't just abandon your own problems to completely invest your efforts in someone else's dilemmas. There are exemptions, of course, but those are off the table for obvious reasons. Like child birth. Or life and death situations. Or pizza. Bottom line: it's always great to offer a helping hand and actually alleviate personal conundrums that other people have on their plate, but be aware that you can also help yourself, and sometimes, that's the best help you could have.

  I have to admit, I'm not used to writing coherent sentences and paragraphs anymore. But whatever.

  Be back in a while