I'm finally in medschool, and I'm a little excited, scared, and bored. But at the same time I feel nothing. I guess this is part of growing up, because the feelings of disappointment comes often, though disappointment isn't really the right word for it and disappointment is a strong word for that feeling. It's something like depression but without the crushing pain in the chest or something like optimism dumped with a ton of boredom. To be honest I don't even know why I'm writing this, and I think this might be the last blog I write. I honestly had so many ideas for new blogs and new posts but they just remain as ideas. I've lost the creative drive to do anything and I'm not really sure why. I have everything I wanted right now, but I feel empty. I'm not really sure what's missing, but I don't think it's faith or anything of the sort. I guess maybe it's because I don't dream anymore, literally or figuratively. Maybe I've convinced myself that I've sen everything and now I'm in this rut, or maybe I'm just disappointed in myself that there's no more room for any sort of improvement and now I'm just going through the motions without learning anything new, and there's nothing I can do because I don't want to do anything and right now there isn't a need to do anything. Or maybe I'm just reaaallllyyy bored right now and need something fresh.
Oh well
